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How to Deal with Aging Parents with Dementia

Coping with the difficulties of caring for a parent with dementia requires patience and utilizing support resources.
Coping with the difficulties of caring for a parent with dementia requires patience and utilizing support resources.

Dementia is a broad term that describes a decline in mental ability that impacts daily life. It is caused by damage to brain cells that affects memory, thinking, behavior, and the ability to perform everyday activities.

Three key symptoms often characterize dementia:

  • Memory loss - Forgetting recently learned information or important dates and events.

  • Impaired reasoning - Difficulty solving problems, following instructions, concentrating, or performing familiar tasks.

  • Personality changes - Depression, anxiety, aggression, or a lack of inhibition.

The most common cause of dementia in the elderly is Alzheimer's disease. However, there are several other forms, such as vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, and frontotemporal dementia. Dementia is progressive, meaning symptoms start slowly and gradually worsen over time.

Coping with a Parent's Dementia Diagnosis

Learning that an aging parent has dementia can be incredibly difficult. The following strategies may help you cope with the diagnosis:

  • Educate yourself - Learn as much as possible about the type of dementia your parent has. Understanding the symptoms and progression will help you know what to expect.

  • Join a support group - Connecting with others going through the same experience provides comfort. Support groups for caregivers offer advice and resources.

  • Take care of your health - Eat well, exercise, and get enough rest. The demands of caregiving can take a toll on your health.

  • Accept your emotions - Feelings of anger, sadness, fear, and grief are normal. Seek counseling if you are struggling to cope.

  • Use respite care - Take advantage of adult day services or in-home aides to get breaks from constant caregiving.

Providing Care and Support for an Aging Parent with Dementia

Caring for a parent with dementia presents unique challenges that increase over time. Here are some tips for providing meaningful care while coping with the difficulties involved:

  • Establish a routine - Structure and scheduling the same activities regularly can create a sense of order. Use calendars, signs, and checklists as needed.

  • Simplify tasks - Break activities into smaller, more manageable steps to prevent frustration. Provide ample time for the person to complete each part.

  • Remain flexible - Be ready to adapt to changing needs and behaviors. Please don't force the person to do something they genuinely don't want to do.

  • Try communication strategies - Use short sentences, speak slowly, ask yes/no questions, and allow time for responses. Also, utilize touch, facial expressions, and visual cues.

  • Create a safe environment - Remove hazards, secure exits, post reminders, and install monitoring devices to prevent wandering and other risky behaviors.

  • Engage in enjoyment - Make time for fun, relaxing activities like looking through old photos or listening to your favorite music. Laughter and joy have benefits.

  • Don't argue - Avoid correcting the person or pointing out errors in logic. Instead, show understanding and reassure the person.

  • Check on respite options - Seek in-home care, adult day services, or short-term nursing facility stays so the caregiver can have regular breaks. This reduces burnout.

Dealing with a parent's dementia requires patience, resilience, and access to resources. Support groups, respite care, and creating joyful moments together can aid with coping through this challenging journey.


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